At a Crossroads: How Discernment Counseling Helps Couples Find Clarity
When a relationship reaches a crossroads, the path forward can feel uncertain. You may feel confused, emotionally stuck, or unsure what the next step should be. Most people are familiar with traditional couples or marriage therapy—an approach designed for partners who are both ready and committed to repairing the relationship.
But what if one person wants to work on things and the other isn’t sure?
This is where Discernment Counseling comes in.
What Is Discernment Counseling?
Developed by Dr. Bill Doherty, Discernment Counseling is a short-term, structured form of therapy designed for couples in crisis—especially when one partner is ambivalent about staying in the relationship.
Unlike traditional couples therapy, which assumes both partners are committed to reconciliation, discernment counseling helps couples explore whether they want to work toward repair in the first place. The goal isn’t to fix the relationship right away—it’s to help each partner gain clarity, confidence, and direction about what comes next.
Sessions typically last about 90 minutes and take place over one to five meetings. During these sessions, the therapist works with the couple both together and individually, helping each person reflect on their role in the relationship’s current state and what they truly want to move forward.
The Three Decision Paths
In discernment counseling, couples explore three possible paths together:
Stay in the relationship as it currently is
Move toward separation or divorce
Commit to a six-month period of couples therapy to rebuild the relationship
This process is not about assigning blame or pressuring a decision—it’s about creating a safe, structured space to think clearly about one of life’s most important choices.
Why Discernment Counseling Matters
Relationships are complex, and the decision to stay or leave deserves thoughtful consideration. Many couples enter discernment counseling feeling disconnected, uncertain, or emotionally exhausted. Through guided reflection and honest conversation, they often leave with a renewed sense of understanding—whether that means working toward healing or parting with respect and closure.
Discernment counseling offers a compassionate and intentional way to navigate this uncertain space between holding on and letting go.
If you believe Discernment Counseling might be right for you and your partner, we invite you to reach out to Mosaic’s Intake Coordinator to learn more or schedule a consultation. You don’t have to make this decision alone.
Written By: Cala Ochs, MSW, LCSW